From the course: Fred Kofman on Making Commitments

Eric's conclusion

- Yeah, it's pretty amazing how surgically he was able to just point out something that was so simple, but is so applicable to so much of like, my success as like, a human being. (laughing) I think about, you know, clients, certain clients that I know are going to take advantage of my trusting nature, and I feel almost defenseless against them, you know? And then, similar with just with the situation we talked about, how, how I've been, it's been such a simple thing that I could have done like, a year, or two years ago when we talked about this thing. And simply try to make it a, try to make it a commitment, so that, like he said, it might increase the discomfort a little bit, but also increase the probability of this actually happening. So, I mean, it's a very simple thing that I can go do. It's not a hard thing for me to go do, but I expect that, you know, the impact of it will be really big. And it's a simple ask. And it's a lot, it's on me, you know. It's my desire to be liked, my desire not to have put people in an uncomfortable position. (laughing) I think. But, you know, when we flipped the role play, you know, it seemed like a reasonable thing. I guess I had this like, fear of it being so uncomfortable. And it isn't. It's just like, oh, yeah. Like, yeah, it puts me in a position when I was in my partner's shoes like, I may want to squirm out of it. But I can't, I can't. So, I just have to answer a simple question. Do I want to do this or not? So, it was pretty amazing. I can see, you know, it being applicable to a lot of different things, and it felt like it really, really surgically addressed like, a real like, weakness that I feel like I had, and so, hopefully I'll be better at it going forward. What I liked about it is that there was no sense of, you know, malice, or I'm going to show you now, or I'm going to put you on the spot. You know, doing it in a very respectful way, where I have the choice still. I have the choice to do it now, or I can do it later. It's not like this is a technique so that I can like, you know, like, you know, like a sleazy sales person trying to like, get you to like, you know, agree to it. I think this is something that is... The choice is still theirs, but let's make sure that it's a very clear choice that they're making, and a clear agreement that we have. And I think most people, once there's an agreement, and they feel like they made that agreement, well, we'll commit to that agreement. So, I think it's crazy As I speak, it sounds so simple, but it's it's what just happened.

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