The meaning of integrity

- Integrity doesn't mean I will always do what I say. Integrity means I will always honor my word, I will not surprise you, I will not disappoint you without a reason, I will not let you down without calling you before, explaining what happened, asking you how it affects you and doing everything I can to fix it. That creates trust, that's the way we build relationships with one another. And it's not just personal, it's professional because ultimately the root of every professional relationship is the personal relationship we have. It's a terrible phrase when people say, "It's just business," like they have the permission to avoid moral responsibility for acts they would never commit in their personal life. So, it's not just business, like it doesn't matter, I say we have to make it a just business. Just like justice. Justice means, when I promise something I'm bound by my work, I owe it to you and I cannot default on my promise without destroying the justice and the integrity in our relationship. Let me give you a final story of how this makes a huge difference in professional interactions. I was a consultant and I had committed to do a workshop for one of my clients. It was a three day workshop, it was pretty important for them, several executives were flying in. Two months before that date, I got a call from another company that was doing a big congress, they were bringing their 500 top leaders, they had no flexibility, they had the day, everybody was coming from all over the world and they wanted me to give a keynote address for that conference. Not only was it very important, but it was so important that they were willing to pay me twice as much as the other company was paying me for the three days. It was a really big deal, it was big deal for them, it was a big deal for 'cause it was a lot of money. Now, I couldn't do it because I had promised the others. So, I told the second company that I needed to check with the first because I had prior commitment. I knew it would be disappointing to the first company, I could tell them something, it was two months, I can't do it or something but I didn't want to lie. So I called my contact in that company and I said, her name was Marsha, I said, "Marsha, I have a deal to propose to you." This is the situation, another company has asked me to do it, I know it would be a terrible, I would say, not a terrible problem but it would be uncomfortable and you would have to call your people and change their schedules, it's an aggravation. Here's the deal, if you want me to be there I will because I promised you but if you can change the date and if you're willing to change date and change the invitation for the people, I will do it for free. And she immediately said yes, okay, that's a good deal, I'll take it. Because I can tell people that we get it for free so if anybody complains, they're like well, we're getting this seminar for free and it's a good deal for us and you can do the other engagement and then do this one with us, we'll negotiate a new date. We finished that conversation in a very good state of mind, the trust was enhanced. I work with both companies for many years thereafter and both people felt very well taken care of. I had the opportunity to do that by telling the truth but ultimately by disappointing or by breaking my word to the first company but I just did it in a way that was full of integrity, full of respect and honoring that they were going to suffer some consequences and it was up to me to take care of it. So, this notion of integrity is not a pie in the sky, it's not that you'll always do what you say you're going to do. That's not human, it's not possible. But it is possible not to surprise people, not to let them down as human beings, persons, that have the right to hold you accountable for your promises. And, if you keep that in mind, you will build amazing, robust and very affective relationships where you can rely on them and they will definitely rely on you.