Asking questions

- I once had a client, let's call him George. He was a bit of a challenge for me. Some people on his team thought he wasn't very bright, others thought he was just a jerk, and still others thought he didn't know they existed. The thing is George wanted to be a good leader and he wanted to hear what they had to say. He just didn't do a good job of listening to them. He would show up with his ideas already in his head and wouldn't take the time to ensure he actually knew what the heck people were talking about. People were frustrated with him because they would say one thing and George would do something else. My biggest win with George, and to be honest, his biggest win with his team, was when I convinced him of the power of questions. Questions are an essential tool to help you become a more critical thinker and a better leader. As a leader or manager, it's often wise to start with questions. It's a way to make sure that your team feels engaged and to check your assumptions at the door. Even if you have an idea of a suggestion you'd like to make, you can ask a question rather than offering your own opinions. By offering your opinion as a leader right away, you can sometimes stifle the scent, but you want to hear your team's idea, so you could say one option is this, what are your thoughts on that? You can also use questions to get deeper into a problem. Often the stated issue is not really the issue and a good critical thinker wants to know what the underlying needs, motivations and influences are. You can ask what does that do for you? Why is that important or what would happen if X? This helps you gain a deeper understanding and a stronger base to have further discussions and solve problems. Questions are also helpful if you don't quite understand. Just ask can you help me understand that? Why do you think this should be? Or am I right that you mean X? All of these make sure that you're on the same page. Do not let ego get in the way. One of George's issues was that he wouldn't ask a question even if he didn't understand something because he thought it showed weakness. It absolutely does not. If anything, it tells the other person you're genuinely listening and are eager to know more. Finally, use questions to check your assumptions. You might have assumptions about how you think someone feels, but asking a question can show you when you may be wrong. You can ask. So it seems like you're angry about this, is that right? Or why does this excite you? Your questions can also be about facts. It seems that the important steps are one, two, three, is that right? Or I want to make sure I'm right in what I'm hearing. No matter the context, questions create the opportunity for other people to share and can help you guide the conversation and them towards a positive solution.