Assume positive intent

- I do a really great job of assuming that my own intentions are pure. And even when they aren't, I'm usually able to construct robust justifications for my actions anyway. Not surprisingly, I have a harder time doing this for others. Brene Brown talks about this storytelling skill in "Dare to Lead" People take bits of disconnected information and they string them together in a way that best fits their perspective. Unfortunately, when you construct stories about what has happened and why others have behaved a particular way, you tend to lean on unreliable and negative influences like biases, anxieties and fears. This combination rarely colors others in the best possible light. Successful executives cultivate a habit that puts others in the best possible light. They practice assuming positive intent. What would happen if you assumed your work colleagues were doing their best? What if you assumed their intent was positive even when it didn't feel true? I believe this is one of the keys to effective leadership at the executive level. So how do you practice assuming positive intent? I've got a few ideas to get you started. First, you'll have to retrain your storytelling brain by interrogating it. Pay attention to when you start building a story, And before it gets fully developed, start asking yourself questions that broaden or challenge your perspective. What information is missing? What assumptions are you making? How would the subject of your story tell things? Asking questions like these will help you retrain your storytelling brain to build more empathic stories that assume positive intent. Now, this doesn't mean that you let problems slide, but assuming positive intent, it changes the way that you make criticisms. As a philosophy graduate student, I spent a lot of time critiquing arguments, including my own. But what I also spent a lot of time doing was imagining the best possible version of that argument or position. When you layer in empathy in this way, you begin to see that decision from the decider's perspective rather than from your own. So when you disagree with or criticize a decision, you know you're not criticizing a caricature but you're continuing the conversation in the best way for everyone. Also, a recommendation. You're going to find yourself in situations where it's clear that the person who frustrated you didn't act with positive intent, it happens. Sometimes people really are out to get you. But catch this, even then, assuming positive intent will help you move forward in a positive way. This is a strategy that works even when it shouldn't. So are you ready to practice? Think about a colleague who frustrated you recently. Let your mind retell that story and practice assuming positive intent by interrogating your own story. Then flex your empathy muscle, reimagine that interaction from their perspective, assume that your colleague did their best work and they did it with good intentions. Finally, write down a few honest, non-judgemental and forward thinking questions you could ask that colleague to further understand what happened and open the door for feedback. The more that you do this, the more confident you can be that you're seeing yourself and your colleagues in the best possible light.