From the course: Leadership through Feedback
To excel, you must know others' patterns
From the course: Leadership through Feedback
To excel, you must know others' patterns
- I was in a relationship once where I got to witness that person's family communication patterns and dynamics very closely. At first, I was quite critical of the enthusiasm and positivity they seemingly displayed toward all things. Is that really the best salad dressing you've ever had? That's ridiculous, I would judge mentally think to myself, but then something interesting happened. I took a family trip to a theme park with one of my adult siblings and I watched with delight as my brother laughed his head off for 20 minutes during one of the attractions. It was evident to me that he was having a fantastic time. As we were leaving the attraction, I asked him how he liked it and he replied flatly, "It was okay". I was stunned, his response was so counter to what I had personally observed, but then I realized that this was just part of my family's quirky communication patterns. Where my in-laws were extremely enthusiastic, my family was more me. To make sense of this, I developed what I call the emotional communication spectrum theory which helped me see my family's patterns as well as my in-laws more clearly. If life and its events could be scripted along an emotional spectrum from negative 10, horrible, sad and depressing, and positive 10 unbridled joy, my partner's family operated in the plus 7 to plus 10 range, where my family rated in the minus one to plus one in communicating joy and other emotions, nothing horrible, nothing fantastic. Observing others and reserving judgment will always give you more information about yourself, broaden your worldview and increase your compassion and understanding. So think about the people you work with, especially those with whom you have the hardest time communicating or connecting. Now, plot yourself on the emotional communication spectrum and then plot those colleagues. Can you see what is getting in the way of your communication? How can you adjust what you say to better communicate on their continuum? Do you need to use different words, more positive or more neutral? When you discover other people's patterns, you'll learn more about yours and how best to modify them. This is invaluable when constructing effective feedback.
Practice while you learn with exercise files
Download the files the instructor uses to teach the course. Follow along and learn by watching, listening and practicing.
Download courses and learn on the go
Watch courses on your mobile device without an internet connection. Download courses using your iOS or Android LinkedIn Learning app.